WHEN THE KIDS WERE CELEBRATING MY 70TH BIRTHDAY

When the kids were celebrating my 70th birthday, this summer, at The Shack family bonfire, they presented me with these … [my remarks in italics] Tom read them to me while everyone laughed, chiding me.

CAROLE'S 11 LIFE LESSONS AFTER 70 YEARS

1. No email should go unforwarded. info with family and friends. [Are they trying to tell me I forward too much email … to too many people …too often. Well, it is true; I do like to share all my good

2. Every good recipe starts with a stick of butter. [Are they accusing me of cooking with too much saturated fat? Who ever heard of making a good cookie without butter? Butter adds pleasure to our dining.]

3. Writing a book is easy, it only takes 30 years. [Are they making fun of me for writing about raccoons for over 30 years? Am I crazy? Does that show dedication … or what? Like The Little Engine That Could …’I thought I could, I thought I could, and I did persevere and write my books … and publish them..]

4. A movie made, is a movie worth watching. [Are they trying to tell me that I do not use much discrepancy when choosing movies … that I’ll watch anything … as long as it is a movie? No way! I choose my movies very carefully. Just check out my Netfix lists … you’ll see.]

5. A taco IS a sandwich. [I told them a taco was a sandwich but they didn’t believe me. Now they know. We found it in a crossword puzzle but it is too late for me to get credit for my answer in that game we were playing.]

6. If someone thinks it is worth saying, I think it is worth saying twice. [Are they saying I repeat myself? Oh, now REALLY, family ...Is that so bad?]

7. Everyone should have a servant named Larry. [I know I love my Larry. He is devoted to me.]

8. A pool is not a luxury it is a necessity. [It sure was in the stifling Georgia summer. Thank God, we had one in our backyard.]

9. Bras are over rated. [Can’t say that enough! Uncomfortable as hell.]

10. If they have a pulse, they are worth talking to. [Are they trying to imply that I’ll talk to anyone … anywhere … anytime? Well, I guess I do have to admit to being guilty of that. So what? I like people!]

11. Need a parking spot at Christmas? Pray to St. Anthony [That’s my advice. He always comes through for me. Has for years!]