MY PRAYER

THANKFULNESS


As I age, I think more about my life in a different way and more about what I am experiencing now, and wonder what my future holds.

For most of this past year, my sister, Nancy, has been confined to a hospital or nursing home. She had wonderful care in the hospitals but when time to enter a nursing home, she had no choice of a nursing home due to the high cost of her medications; she was at the mercy of those who would admit her. She became totally dependent on the staff, some of who treated her with kindness and respect, others who were uncaring and disrespectful, an incompetent staff who frequently ignored her bell, kept her waiting for medications, had eratic hours that interfered with Nancy's necessary therapy or treatments or made her wait for her insulin before meals while her food got cold.

Their incompetence caused Nancy much frustration, even regressed the progress she made, but she did not complain as much as most of us would have. She lost much of her vision due to diabetes and had to adjust to this horific loss all while enduring many major illnesses. She did remarkably well and tolerated her illnesses with dignity and patience offering little complaint. Even though I am an RN, it opened my eyes to those who are confined to hospitals and nursing homes and at the mercy of understaffed, overworked, sometimes incompetent staff.

As I think of all these things, I pray and tell myself every day to be thankful for what I have and who I am.

Even though I may complain if I have to get up early for an appointment instead of nestling in my bed a little longer and am pressed to get up and moving, I am grateful, Lord, that I can hear the alarm or my husband's voice calling me. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible. Thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising to face my morning aches and pains, I thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, it used to be when my children were young and getting ready for school and the toast burned and tempers short, but now it is my fault my morning is hectic, as everything I do is more difficult, simple things that I took for granted, like my shower, etc. I move slower and am unsteady on my feet and need help dressing. I cannot do many things that I used to do and it is annoying and frustrating for me and for others around me. Still I thank you Lord, for my family and for waking up each morning with my husband nearby and my son with us. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced. Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my writing can be difficult, I thank you Lord for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job or when they retire are bored. I am never bored. I am grateful that I can see and use my computer, and thank God, mentally sound. I no longer can do all my housework alone but I have wonderful household help, and my husband and son are invaluable help.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my health was better, I think of how fortunate I am that I at least have the means to take care of my health and have people who care about me to help, and that I am fortunate to enjoy a comfortable life style with an oceanfront winter home and in summer a lake home. So many others do not have the means to help themselves or loved ones to care for them.

I thank you, Lord, for my great country and my fellow Americans, for our brave men who have fought the many wars to keep us free, I thank you for my freedom to speak, to practice my religion, to live in this great land. And I pray for all those in need, who are suffering, who have no homes or food or loved ones, who live in a world of fear and pain, with little hope. I pray for guidance for our President and world leaders and those responsible for keeping us free. I pray for peace throughout the world.

I thank you, Lord, for my life.